My mom has a friend at work that has kids around my age. While one of his sons was getting ready to leave for college his mother was crying because another one of her sons was leaving home. When she was crying and hugging her son, the son also started to get emotional and tear up too. Being a typical man, my mom’s friend said to his wife, “Stop crying, it’s time for him to get off the tit!” - meaning go out on his own and not rely on his mother so much. Because my family makes fun of pretty much anything and everything, my mom came home one day and told the rest of us this. It has become a huge joke around our house and anytime anyone is acting like a “baby”, we tell them this.
If you’re reading this, then you probably know that in eight short days I will be leaving the country and going to study abroad in Angers, France. Unlike many of my friends, I didn’t go away for college or live in the dorms. I have been saving and saving my money for my upcoming adventure. I have always been closer with my family than a lot of other students my age whether they stayed at home or not. I also have an amazing and wonderful boyfriend who I have been with for five and a half years. Because of this, I am an emotional mess as I start to pack and get ready to leave. The first day I started to lay out my clothes to pack, I ended up on the floor in a pile full of sweaters and scarves in tears. The week before this, I got upset because I had to start a new bar of soap and I wouldn’t be here to finish it. (A little crazy right?) As the days left dwindle down to zero, I am trying to go from living at home and relying on my family and friends for everything to adult Mackenzie who can travel on her own and do everything for herself all on her own. Or as my mom’s friend at work would say…”It’s time for me to get off the tit.”
I am super excited to go to school over there and learn as much as I possibly can and also travel but my body is filled with so much anxiety and nervousness that I can’t sleep and my stomach hurts constantly. This is my first time flying all on my own and being all on my own in an unfamiliar place. (For those of you who don’t know, I completely hate hate hate flying and have to be drugged to get on and off the plane in one piece) I know that when I meet my French host family I will feel better and they will make me feel at home and comfort me and everything will work out but I guess I am finally feeling what all my friends felt two years ago just multiplied by the fact that no one there is allowed to speak English to me. They don’t teach you the word for tampons in French class in school.
Don’t get me wrong, I am totally eager and excited to start my new adventure. Just a taaaaad nervous. So in the next couple days I will be putting on my big girl pants, “getting off the tit”, and becoming an adult.